So last night I wrote an article and dropped the word ‘crazy’ numerous times. And let’s just say things escalated pretty fast.
So in terms of the article, I would like to state: It was not my intention to poke fun at anyone with a mental illness, and nor would I ever intentionally do that. I realised today that my article was misconstrued and interpreted differently by different parties and that’s to always be expected in the world of blogging. It was an article I wrote in jest and was hardly a serious ‘oh my goodness all girls are crazy like mentally ill crazy SHAME SHAME’ – but again if you don’t know me, then I understand that different opinions are going to form.
So here we go: To me when I was using the term crazy, it was meant as an adjective to describe in these situations, girls who had done some wacky, bizarre and sure, creepy things to males, based on the stories I had heard over time from male friends. As a woman myself, I’m hardly trying to girl-shame or place hate on any women, so questioning whether I’m a feminist or not is not really necessary. The terms ‘crazy’ ‘batshit insane’ and ‘psychotic lunatic’ were used in my post, and offended some people. The terms are not my personal beliefs on how these girls were acting nor a reflection on them as a person. They were terms used by friends who were talking about the situations they had found themselves in and terms used to describe the antics and the behaviours of said individuals. If you look at the article it’s ‘5 reasons guys are attracted to crazy women.’ Not 5 reasons why we should hate them, 5 reasons why we should shame them, 5 reasons why we should diss them. It’s stories I’ve heard from guys, reported by me. Most people that have seen this post realised it was reported in a light-hearted way. Some didn’t, so hence the point of this post now.
For individuals to state that I obviously have had a life devoid of trauma, or that I myself have never suffered a mental illness is ridiculous. In fact, I have battled with my own mental health and I’ve known people, friends and family that also have suffered from one. But this isn’t about me or my battle with mental illness just like the article actually isn’t about girls who actually suffer from real mental illnesses. This is not my personal opinion on women.
To say the word crazy has one meaning is not the most productive argument in this case. Everyday I hear people drop the term, and they aren’t talking about the mentally ill or people who have gone through mental trauma. After gigs it’s not uncommon to hear people say ‘that was crazy!’ or ‘how insanely good was that!’ I’m pretty sure Beyonce’s ‘Crazy In Love’ song didn’t stand for ‘Mentally Ill in Love.’ I’m also pretty sure that labelling someone with a mental illness as “Crazy” would be considered by a lot of people as offensive, including myself.
It’s actually my belief that no one is ‘perfectly sane’ so if I appeared to be judging from my ‘perfect sane corner’ then I wasn’t – nothing about my corner is perfect or sane. We all have our flaws, we all have our quirks. But I think if you read this article and take it as an example of girl-hate or me being misogynistic then you have really really misconstrued the point. I’m happy to alter words or take out parts if they were overly offensive – for example one of my sources told a story about how when he was dating a slightly ‘outlandish chick (we’ll say outlandish for the sake of this) she used to like to be degraded when they had sex. That was her choice. Personally that’s not my cup of tea, but through sharing that anecdote I’m hardly saying ‘crazy chicks deserve to be degraded.’ I think a bit too much nit picking of words and over-analysis of phrases has happened here.
If you’re someone that says you’ve never heard a friend, either male or female complain or share a story about a partner or ex for doing something bizarre, wacky or god forbid ‘crazy’ then I don’t think I believe you. If you think I wrote the article because ‘I’m butthurt that my relationship didn’t work out’ then I’m not entirely sure where in my article I insinuate that I’ve gone through a break-up that I am ‘butthurt’ about. If you’re taking the word crazy to mean an absolute literal sense and nothing else, then do I take the term butthurt to mean that my butt actually hurts? And besides, am I meant to be insulted by comments saying I wrote this article because I’m some single ‘butthurt’ desperado? Is there something wrong or embarrassing about being single? I’m happy to listen to logical, coherent and mature arguments on this matter, but I’m not going to take or listen to insults based on my personal life.
We could really go around in circles here about the intention of the article and literal meanings of words. I think it’s safe to say that the majority of people reading the article did take it to mean a joke. But to those offended – I do understand your point of view. I may not agree with everything that you’ve stated just like maybe you can understand my point of view but not agree with everything I’ve stated either.