100 Things We Call Bullshit On

BY THE BULLSH!T TEAM

Wow. We’ve made the big triple digits. 100 articles discussing the things that are at the forefront of our minds and on the tips of our tongues. We’ve seen over 15,000 hits to this site (thank you), close to 200 comments (thank you, again), and so many FB/Twitter likes/shares/favourites/retweets. We’re stoked to bring you a good amount of banter, some different perspectives on current affairs and explore the world of young adulthood with you, the readers.

So with our big 100th article, the team at BULLSH!T brings you this; 100 things we call bullshit on. A list compiled through the discussions between our editors and contributors – which typically end up being horribly off-topic and result in us discussing our various (likely intoxicated) adventures.

As always, everything is open to interpretation, reaction, comment and debate. If something stirs your honey pot, go ahead and say something in the comments section below.

100. Guys who think girls care about their hair too much – every guy spends a good minute fixing their hair whenever they go to the bathroom.
99. Parents who claim kids are too reckless these days.
98. Rugby League players as role models.
97. A Facebook display picture that’s REALLY good.
96. Twilight.
95. People who say, “I’m not racist, but…”.
94. Guys who have to convince you they’re “a nice guy”.
93. Understaffed bars.
92. The Royal Baby.
91. Concert ticket booking fees. Editors Note: Especially when they’re print at home tickets!
90. My Kitchen Rules having higher ratings than Masterchef.
89. Gay guys who hate gay guys.
88. Anything that’s “back by popular demand” – it’s called marketing.
87. Whoever devised the marketing campaign for The Block.
86. Low fat food.
85. The Janoskians and everything they do.
84. When people order Maccas and get a diet coke because they’re ‘watching their weight’.
83. When an attractive person sits next to you on the train and you suddenly become painfully aware of how shit you look at that point in time.
82. Fad diets. (Especially the milkshake diet. And the paleo diet.)
81. University degrees.
80. Mature aged students in suits.
79. Soul mates.
78. Chris Brown.
77. Checking your bank account after a night out.
76. Checking your text messages after a night out.
75. Checking who is in bed next to you after a night out.
74. Life in general after a night out.
73. Genie bra / Ahh-bra. Editors Note: Or so we’ve been told…
72. Every infomercial ever.
71. Autocorrect.
70. When a sex scene comes on a TV show/movie that you’re watching with your parents.
69. When a sex scene comes on during a bad date. Editors Note: the number of this one was COMPLETELY unintentional!
68. Restrictions on legally downloaded music.
67. Justin Bieber’s mental state. (serious problem or seriously interesting marketing ploy?)
66. When the message you’ve sent is marked as ‘seen’ but they haven’t replied yet.
65. Miley Cyrus ‘twerking’.
64. Finding clothes on sale that aren’t in your size.
63. Getting home drunk at 1am and realising you have to start work in 5 hours.
62. Cold beds in winter.
61. Tony Abbott in general.
60. Scott Morrison’s unrelenting campaign of racism and xenophobia.
59. Basically, Australian politics.
58. Still being hungover at 1am.
57. Being tired all afternoon at work and suddenly being wide awake when you get home.
56. Ashy Bines Bikini Challenge (and other ‘clean eating’ fad diets)
55. Snapchats of people’s cats. Editors note: Are dog snapchats still okay?
54. Waking up before 10am in winter.
53. Post-gig/festival depression.
52. Online shopping just as a phone bill arrives in your email inbox. *sigh*
51. Monthly pays.
50. Paying off your debt only to have your car rego turn up the next day.
49. Spending ages painting your nails only to completely wreck them seconds after finishing.
48. Mid-strength beer and/or spirits at sporting events & gigs.
47. Having to spend time around ex-partners in social settings.
46. Glasses being ‘cool’ after we left high school.
45. Drink tickets at festivals.
44. People with naturally fast metabolisms.
43. People who wear makeup to the gym.
42. People who wear snapbacks to the gym.
41. People who hog the machines & weights at the gym.
40. People at the gym who are so perfect that you just think ‘Why are you here? You’re done.’
39. Andrew Bolt.
38. Unpaid internships.
37. Trying to find a casual job/work in general.
36. Employers who don’t bother to email/call to let you know you haven’t gotten the job.
35. Perez Hilton.
34. People not respecting quiet carriages.
33. People who play music on their phones without headphones.
32. Paying $4+ for a bottle of water.
31. Working in retail and seeing someone storming towards you with a receipt and a pissed off face.
30. Group assignments with language barriers.
29. Group assignments with people who slack off.
28. Group assignments, period. (This is worth HOW much of my final mark?!)
27. People who talk loudly at an event while an MC is trying to speak.
26. People who ask if there are capital letters in your email address. (It’s not case-sensitive, people!)
25. Being under 5ft tall and trying to do things like watch a live gig or reach the back of the freezer.
24. People claiming that short people are always angry. Editors note: we have a reason to be angry, sometimes…
23. Leaving your lunch out the back at work for five minutes to serve a customer and coming back to it covered in ants.
22. People who bring dogs to antique stores.
21. Huge cliffhangers in the season finale of a TV series. (What! No! I don’t want to wait six months, I wanna know NOW!)
20. People who still think ranga/dumb blonde jokes are funny.
19. Getting home from the shops only to realise you forgot something important/the one thing you set out to buy in the first place.
18. People who take a full trolley of shopping to a self-serve checkout.
17. People who don’t know how to use a self-serve checkout…and they have a whole trolley load of shopping.
16. Paying a stupid amount of money on a pair of jeans only to have them fall apart the third time you wear them.
15. Spending two hours deciding on what movie to watch.
14. People who don’t like to buy a case of beer because the cardboard box is ripped. Editors Note: Dude, you’re going to take them out of the box anyway.
13. People who think that feminism is about portraying females as better than males rather than equals.
12. Guys who still think it’s cool to wear their pants halfway down their arses.
11. Improper use of the English language, punctuation, and grammar.
10. University elitism/snobbery Editors Note: Do people really think that places like USYD are better than other universities?
9. Leaving your umbrella at home, only to have it rain right when you need it.
8. Feeling ‘too dumb’ to do a course at a university due to aforementioned ‘university snobbery’.
7. Couples who celebrate minor milestones. Eg: Week/month anniversaries.
6. Hipsters.
5. Onesies & native american headdresses at festivals.
4. Adult responsibilities.
3. Bills. Seriously.
2. People who work at cafes that don’t know how to make a decent cup of coffee. Editors Note: Come on man, you had ONE JOB.
1. People not enrolled to vote.

That’s it! 100 things that just make us sit back and think ‘wow…really?’ Because sometimes the thought patterns of people around us just completely astound us here at Bullsh!t. We love bringing you the weird and wonderful things we encounter in our day-to-day life, and we truly hope you love reading about them.

As for item number one, it’s truly important that you guys enrol to vote. Because the federal election is just around the corner and the young Australians are the ones that will have biggest say in who our future leaders are. Don’t be an ignorant jerk, make your vote count.

Do you have anything that shits you to no end? Please, indulge us in the comments section below – where some of our contributors’ suggestions will be posted as honourable mentions.

Here’s to the next 100 articles.

BULLSH!T

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