BY VINCENT VARNEY
When we look for inspiration, we naturally direct our attention at the recognised movers and shakers – the Mark Zuckerbergs, the Steve Jobses and TED Talkers of the world. But sometimes, it’s the ones you least expect that offer the most profound thoughts on life, dealing with lows and achieving the highs.
“You’ve gotta risk it to get the biscuit.” – Shawn Colfax, from the teen sex romp, Fired Up!
“The only rule is don’t be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in.” – Paris Hilton, entrepreneur.
“I have written a book. This will come as quite a shock to some. They didn’t think I could read, much less write.” – George W. Bush, former leader of the free world.
“When there’s so many haters and negative things, I really don’t care.” – Kim Kardashian, famous for I DON’T KNOW WHY!
“The people clap loud when you win a Grammy, they clap louder when you win an Oscar, but the people clap the loudest when you fall.” – Johnny, from Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.” – Charlie Sheen, self-confessed drug dealer and user.
“The first thing is to be patient, which is probably the hardest thing to do. Don’t worry if blokes are whacking you out of the park because you still have the opportunity to get him out next ball, even if it’s not the same ball.” – Shane Warne, sexting pioneer.
“I like food, and will not diet. If I get fat that will be the reason.” – Gina Rinehart, lacking self-awareness.
“Would you believe in what you believe in if you were the only one who believed it?” – Kanye West, father of the best-named child in the world.
“Never give up. Sacrifice and suffer for your dreams. Every one of your dreams will come true, I promise you. Stay away from drugs and alcohol, be a man, take care of your family and your mother and never give up.” – Froggy Fresh, my favourite rapper and I’m not even kidding.
Although somewhat ironic, Vincent Varney’s words will likely sap you of your will to live. Give it a try by following him on Twitter @VincentVarney