If the population were to be placed into a pie graph based on appearance, the largest slice would belong to those who don’t resemble Miranda Kerr or Ryan Reynolds (and who are now hungry at the mention of pie). For these people; genetics, time and dedication to fitness are moderate, but just not “glossy magazine” quality.
Inspired by a Thought Catalog article, I’ve decided to give a shout out to the inbetweeners. These are the people who are in a healthy weight range, but who do not have the bodies of someone gracing the covers of magazines. These are the people who are health conscious enough to eat their veggies and go to the gym but not so health conscious that they would turn down cheesecake for a 100% taste free kale detox shake. So we’ve compiled a list of the everyday problems faced by someone who isn’t skinny but isn’t overweight either.
- The perpetual dilema. Do I eat that burger/cupcake because “YOLO I’m awesome the way I am. Or is it because of this eternal burger/cupcake that I’m not skinny?”
- Eating super healthy for a week and thinking you’ve miraculously body morphed into Beyonce or Will Smith. Then being irrationally annoyed when your pants fit exactly the same as last week.
- Eating poorly for a week and assuming that all of your clothes will instantly become tighter.Then being disproportionately relieved when your pants fit exactly the same as last week.
- When you mention that you’ve lost weight and people immediately congratulate you and you have to force yourself not to question why they think it’s great news.
- Vanity sizing. One day you’ll try on a tiny size because it’s the only size available. It’ll fit and you’ll constantly remind yourself of that one time you fit that tiny size.
- Vanity sizing. One day you’ll try on a bigger size because it’s all the store stocks, and it’ll be too tight. And you’ll question every mirror you’ve ever looked upon in your life and remember that this is why you have trust issues.
- Feeling constantly conflicted between “body love” and “fitspo” messages, causing you to develop a love-hate relationship with certain body parts worthy of a day-time soap opera.
- Wearing baggy clothes. Girls: “Do my curves make this loose top look like maternity wear?” Guys: “Does this shirt over t-shirt cover my belly or make it look like I have something to hide?”
- Whenever you’re at a party and everyone’s picking at the fruit bowl and you’re hovering around the cake, questioning who will judge you for launching yourself onto that bad boy.
- Wondering if the opposite sex regard you as ‘average’ size or if magazines have convinced them that you’re ‘bigger’. Then getting irrationally annoyed at no one in particular.
- Knowing exactly which “skinny” mirrors in your house inspire confidence before going out and which “fat” mirrors to avoid.
- Scrolling past the reel of half naked gym selfies on social media and realising that by contrast, your instagram is a tracking device for every restaurant you visit.
- Eating unhealthy food whilst watching ‘The Biggest Loser’ makes you feel unprecedentedly guilty.
- Spending longer than an hour at the gym, then spending the next week complaining that you’re so sore you “can’t even sit down”.
- Exercising solely to justify your last booze-fuelled night (and obligatory Maccas run).
- Moments arise where you’re tempted to ingest goji berries or trial ‘shredding’ to see if skinny people are as happy as their hashtags tell you. Inevitably, 10 minutes after your resolution to become skinny, someone suggests going out for dinner or offers you a beer and you’re confident that everything tastes better than skinny feels.
NB: There is nothing wrong with setting fitness and health goals and being skinny if you want to be; just like there’s nothing wrong with rocking a bigger figure and feeling comfortable in any size. These are merely musings.
Words by CYNDALL MCINERNEY, a student who spends her spare time scrolling through ‘foodporn’ tags and avoiding people who talk about Crossfit loudly on public transport.