BULLSH!T Reviews: TV Week Logies Red Carpet.

‘Australian television’s night of nights’, The TV Week Logie Awards hit Melbourne last night and yet again proved to be a night of class, where no-one drinks excessively and shows up hungover/still drunk to work the next morning (Karl Stefanovic, you little legend). Even Gold Logie winner, Scott Cam, expressed surprise in his acceptance speech that it was past 11pm and he was still sober.

Whilst no doubt, people won awards, somebody cried and some performer probably did a terrible job, the only part really worth reviewing is the choices on the red carpet. So without further ado, here’s the BULLSHiT Wrap Up of Red Carpet #fashun.

Sonia Kruger

I’ve said it before, but it’s completely valid- Sonia Kruger must be a vampire. She is almost 50 and looks better than most of us ever will. She looks amazing in Alex Perry.

Image: Popsugar

Susie Edelman

I know what you’re thinking…’Those shoes are way too heavy to go with that dress’. Jokes. Two words popped into my head when I saw this- ‘Angel Boobs’. Susie wore this same dress to the Logies back in 1995 and decided to wear it again because…? Susie has a habit of dressing for the ‘WTF’ factor at the Logies. Previous outfits have included a lot of sheer material and more boobs.

Image: Daily Mail UK

Asher Keddie

I feel really conflicted about this J’aton number. On one hand, I’m like “Wow Nina Proudman, you secret rock chick”, then I remember that Offspring is just a TV show and Asher could have picked any dress in the world to wear to the Logies. I probably wouldn’t pick the one that looks like it was put together at the front with electrical tape, but each to their own.

Image: news.com.au

Jescinta Campbell

Jescinta kills it in this slick all white number from Aussie designer Toni Maticevski. She rode el solo on the Red Carpet, with boyfriend Buddy Franklin probably in the doghouse BIG TIME for crashing her Jeep into 5 parked cars last week.  Cracking the whip, nice one Jes.

Image: news.com.au

Lauren and Patti Newton

Its like looking at a set of twins but one has Benjamin Button syndrome & the other doesn’t…

Image: news.com.au
Hamish & Andy. 

They get a mention, because I love them and hope Andy is secretly in love with me without having a clue who I am. That happens, right?
Image: news.com.au

Jessica Marais. 

I really like this whole thing that she’s got going on! Jess (I call her that because we are friends) is wearing a J’Aton dress, that feels a little business in the front & party at the back.
Image: news.com.au
Image: Popsugar

Jennifer Hawkins.

Being completely honest, Hawko looks a little boring on the Red Carpet this year. Whilst she’s rocking the ‘all white errrythinnn’ thing, it seems rather tame and a bit plain. (Red Carpet reviews in prose… I think I’m on to something.)
Image: Popsugar

Ed Sheeran

Good to see the headlining act dressed up for the occasion. I’ll forgive Ed for not realising that the Logies is a MASSIVE deal, if he serenades me.
Image: Take 40

Lisa Wilkinson

Lisa looks totally amazing, showing that you don’t have to be a beauty queen/24 years old/WAG to kill it on the Red Carpet.
Image: news.com.au

Timomatic and Talia Fowler.

Whilst I’m not too sure what either of these people do, this photo is completely fierce which makes me think that we might have found Australia’s version of Jay-Z and Beyonce. Lols. That will never happen. She looks fabulous, but I think Pharrell might want his hat back Timomatic… if that is your real name.

Image: Popsugar

Words by ELLY PATRICK, who has clearly sat through way too many E News Red Carpet Telecasts.

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