It’s that time again – The Voice Australia has started. It’s time for another season of sob stories (“My pet rock died and it just reminded me life is short, and you must follow your dreams!”, “My favourite eyelash fell out yesterday but it inspired me to keep going”), another season of hands hovering over buzzes and another season of bad cliches being spurted from the judges mouths.
Here at BULLSH!T, we understand watching trashy TV can be an addiction. So why not make that addiction a little more fun and mix it with another addiction: alcoholism?* Let’s all join together and play The Voice Drinking Game.**
1) Drink every time The Voice showcases a contestant with a ‘sob story.’
You know the one – “I got bullied in high-school” (hardly an exclusive club), “My parents divorced and it took me ages to get over it.” “My dog Marley is my best friend, and has been there for me through my work woes, marriage woes, children woes, then sadly dies..” (Oh wait.)
The Voice is filled with sob stories that are meant to tug on audience heart-strings and make the contestant more relatable. That’s debatable.
2) Drink every time Will.i.am says something that absolutely makes no sense
3) Take a shot every time Joel Madden says something that could be regarded as ‘sleazy’
4) Drink every time a judge references Will.i.am’s ‘factories’
He owns factories, OKAY?
5) Drink every time a contestant makes a reference to their past musical ventures
“I was a cabaret performer”
“I’m in a band.”
6) Take a shot every time Kylie tries to get one of the other judges to turn around, because she doesn’t want to waste her picks.
Strong game Kylie.
7) Drink every time Kylie says ‘Oh what’s going to happen this time/now’
Uh I guess someone’s going to sing Kyles…just a thought?
8) Take a shot every time a mother backstage starts crying.
9) Drink every time you have a slightly inappropriate feeling/thought regarding Ricky Martin
You can press our buzzers Ricky.
10) Finish your drink every time a judge teases the crowd by hovering their hands over a buzzer.
*We recommend not drinking spirits for this game. Side effects of drinking game include by the end of the show, you’ll be convinced YOU should go on The Voice, and start doing an audition for your fellow drinking buddies.
** Seriously though, let’s all drink responsibly. Playing this game properly could lead to pass-outs, sickness, hangovers and potential death.