Miley Cyrus is bringing her Bangerz tour down under, and here at BULLSH!T, we’re very excited. There’s no weapon as lethal or notorious as Miley Cyrus’s out of control tongue, so to commemorate the exciting news, here’s a little collection of prominent Australian figures who could use a good chastising (or lashing):
1. Kyle and Jackie O, for continued crimes against what little integrity the Australian media has left:
2. Minister for Immigration and ‘Border Protection’ Scott Morrison, for literal crimes against humanity:
3. Whichever Channel 9 executive gave this one the green-light:
4. Cory Bernardi, who isn’t physically capable of opening his mouth without managing to offend multiple groups of people:5. Andrew Bolt, who does….the exact same thing:
7. Every single person ever involved with this advertising monstrosity:
8. Fred Nile, who is in his 70’s and doesn’t believe in gay marriage as it’s impossible for gay couples to naturally produce children. Nile recently wed a woman well past child-bearing age, by the way.
9. Well, she’s not technically in Australia but hey, Bali’s not exactly out of the way for a quick stop-over:
10. The Voice Judges. They are the most collectively annoying 4-person panel ever (though then again Seal’s gone and Ricky’s here so there’s hope), yet we can’t stop watching the stupid show. But seriously Kylie & Joel, get a room already. *Yes, Kylie is the only one who’s actually Australian, but they’re all sort of a packaged deal.
11. Tracy Grimshaw, for every minute of A Current Affair we’ve ever been subjected to. Come on Trace, you’re better than this!
12. Scott Cam, because two seasons of The Block a year is just not necessary, no matter how many Gold Logies you win.
13. …and last, but certainly not least. Lucky number 13, for…everything really:
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