Have you got your Opal card yet? I do. Her name is Opal Winfrey and she has been a very faithful companion over the last few months. It’s a pretty convenient thing actually – as much as the word convenient can be applied to anything to do with public transport in this state.
In case you’re not across the latest ‘innovation’ for Sydney’s inherently shitty public transport system, the Opal card is an e-ticketing system recently introduced. Users can order the card online, whack some money on to it, and pass through barriers with nothing more than a single tap.
According to Sydney Trains (the recently rebranded
ShittyRail CityRail), take-up of the program has been falling well-short of expectations. So, as they inevitably must, a significant marketing spend has occurred ($500,000 if we’re being exact). Here’s what said spend has produced:
Introducing Opal Man – because nothing says hunk like lycra, plastic – and a the most awkward shaped head since Stewie Griffin.
I’d make a comment about the ridiculousness of a woman falling in love with her train ticket – but to anyone that is a regular user of Sydney trains, logic isn’t something often factored into the equation.
The funniest part of the ad comes towards the end, when our love-struck protagonist is asked by her friend when this romance began. She responds “On the 8:45 express”.
An express train in Sydney? Pull the other one, mate.
Words: HARRISON CARTWRIGHT.