A BULLSH!T guide to office lexicon.

Most of the time we spend all of University dreaming about landing that elusive graduate position. The steady paycheck, the chance to experience office culture – to really feel like you’re working positively towards your own career. While you may have dabbled in internships while studying, there’s truly nothing to prepare you for the brave new world that’s waiting for you post-graduation.

People speak a different language there, and it’s going to take more than just your first week on the job to truly understand what’s being said, versus what is actually meant. Presenting BULLSH!T’s guide to the office lexicon:

1. “Entry level”

Source: Tumblr.com

“We’re going to pay you as little as possible before the authorities are forced to get involved.”

2. “The role is unpaid at first, but may lead to paid opportunities”

Source: Tumblr.com

“May the odds be ever in your favor.”

3. “Let’s put that idea on the back burner for now”

Source: giphy.com

…or forever.

4. “Just checking you received my email?”

Source: Pinterest

“Where da fuck is my reply?”

5. “We’re going through a restructure”

“LOL BYE.”

6. “Just wondering if you could reach out?”

Source: Tumblr.com

“I hope you like cold-calling, m8.”

7. “It’s urgent”

“You should have defied the laws of time and space to look into the future and had this done 2 hours before I even asked for it.”

8. “Hump day!”

“How acceptable is it to get WGW on a Wednesday night?”

9. “The hours are flexible”

Source: Tumblr.com

“What’s a weekend?”

10. “Can you CC them?”

11. “Are you across it?”

“…WOT”

12. “The interview process was rigorous”

Source: giphy.com

13. ‘Happy Monday!”
“I’m dead inside.”

The author of this piece wished to remain anonymous. They don’t actually hate their job that much. It gives them money for the vital things, like beer and ASOS splurges.

Don’t forget you can follow BULLSH!T on Facebook and Twitter.

*Feature pic care of officesnapshot.com

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