1) You used to celebrate your birthdays like this:
Grabbing all your friends and going on a weekend bender. And by weekend, I mean Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
2) And now when someone asks what you’re doing for your birthday, you’re more like this:
“Oh. I haven’t thought about it. Could go out for Thai? Oh yeah my birthday does fall on a Friday. Sweet. I don’t think I really want to wake up hungover on Saturday though.”
3) Because hangovers are something you get now.
All. The. Time. Forget backing up. You’re still battling at 9pm.
4) Presents used to involve:
“Ahh just a bottle of vodka would be sweet thanks.”
5) Now it’s more like:
“I would love a blender. I want to learn how to make green smoothies.”
6) You used to spend your hard-earned cash on the following:
Taxis to get home
7) Now it’s all about this:
8) Your big life questions used to be:
“So like, we drunkenly made out again, do you think he likes me or is it just a drunken thing?”
9) Now life questions are more along the lines of:
“Hey, so when should I have my taxes done by?”
10) Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday’s used to be THE nights to go out and be social
That sweet uni life
Aaaaand fade to black.
11) Now it’s more like every second Saturday, if you’re feeling up to it
12) Vodka used to be your vice
13) Now this is where it’s at
Coffee. Coffee. More coffee please.
14) Sleep-ins could nearly be any old day you wanted
8.30am lecture pfft, I’ll just…read the notes…later…
15) Now they’re completely rare
16) And now when you’re out and about you find yourself saying things like this:
17) But on the plus side, you’re running out of fucks to give
List compiled by TAHLIA PRITCHARD. Who did ask for a blender for her last birthday.