Fun fact – most of the BULLSH!T team is made up from people who lived and/or went to university in the grand old city of Wollongong. So to all our Wollongong friends and foes out there, this one is for you.
You’re a uni kid who gets so munted on a night out that you don’t even care that it’s just the same playlist of popular songs from years before. Seriously, you’ll drop it like it’s hot screeching along to Christina Aguilera’s part in ‘Lady Marmalade’ thinking you’re the hottest shit out. You’re easily excitable – running into the same crowd from uni EVERY Wednesday night is honestly like, the best thing ever.
You’re either at Hotel Illawarra for two reasons – the infamous retro night or perhaps you just got lost on your way to Glasshouse. If you’re there for retro, you’re well past your teens and in your twenties, and you’re trying desperately to cling onto your youth. Not like, your teen youth, but your 10-year-old self that used to make up some random jig to C’est la vie after too much sugar. You’re back doing it again, except this time you’ve drank far too much alcohol and you’ll potentially fall over on the middle of the dance-floor.
You’re a true-blue Wollongong townie, that thinks in another life, you could have been a huge rock star. Karaoke night is your time to shine and yes, of course, everyone absolutely adores hearing your rendition of ‘Livin’ On A Prayer’ every Friday and Saturday night. Soon you’ll find the crowd is actually more captivated staring at the fish tank, cross-eyed from the amount of alcohol they’ve consumed.
You’re a uni student through and through, and there’s nothing better than kicking back after a lecture (or you know, just not attending one at all) with some cold ones. Sometimes, it’s 10am on a Thursday morning and it’s a hair of the dog kinda thing. Gotta get through it to get past it.
You’re potentially in the Grand because they’ve shut down Glasshouse again on a Wednesday night so you gotta keep on keepin’ on. You’ll grow to love it though. You’re a cheapskate at heart – sneaking in goon bags and drinking all the cheap drinks before uni happy hour is done. A social being, you can be found flitting around the numerous levels trying to find your friends but just making new ones along the way, because let’s face it, once you lose people at The Grand that’s it.
You’re a classic Wollongong person through and through. Tanned, thirsty and ready for a big night out later, you probably don’t have money troubles (or centrelink repayments) if you’re pre-drinking at North Gong rather than, let’s say, The Patch. Or maybe you’re none of the above and just there for the chicken schnitty. No judgement here.
You’re the most chill person on the planet. You like your beer cheap, your venue dingy and you’re likely to be someone up for a drink any day, at any time. You’re the kind of person that walks barefoot around uni, because life is too short to wear shoes man.
You’re a Weerona kid with a liver made of steel. You’re always up for a challenge, because c’mon we all know what the port tastes like. It’s no easy feat.
You end up here because everything else has shut or kicked you out for being too wasted. You can’t really see straight, and the stairs that lead up to the thumping music kinda go all wobbly and crooked. You’re squinting at the bar and end up ordering a ‘geen en tonec plessss’ with one eye closed and half of your last drink down your shirt. The floor is sticky, and you almost lose a shoe walking back over to where you thought your friends were. How did they even let you in? Nobody knows. You’re too distracted by the light-up dance floor anyway. You don’t want to tell anyone that you ended up at Fever, so most of the next day is spent between the toilet and scrubbing the entry stamps that somehow ended up halfway up your arm.