If you have been living without a television, haven’t paid your electricity bill, or have been so caught up in the new series of The Bachelor that you couldn’t possibly absorb any more heartbreak, then you may have missed it – Mr. George Clooney got married. THE bachelor has put a ring on it and wed British babe, Amal Alamuddin in Venice, Italy.
Firstly, we must congratulate the pair for bringing a little class back into the Hollywood wedding circuit. For too long we have been subjected to shotgun weddings in Vegas (Britney, we’re looking at you), marriages that have lasted less than Lara Bingle’s attempt at a reality series and romantic sagas that began and consequently, ended on camera. Whether it lasts a minute or a lifetime, we tip our hats off to you Mr. Clooney. You didn’t disappoint.
…and in that moment, we were ALL Amy Poehler. Source: Tumblr
But with this dream-shattering news, comes another realisation: Our quintessential single man must pass the torch. And while every publication is hashing out the star-studded wedding details, we bring to you the real issue that could determine whose poster makes the cut for your bedroom wall: Who will take the title of Hollywood’s Most Eligible Bachelor?
Leading the pack is none other than supermodel whisperer, Leonardo Dicaprio. The ‘Wolf Of Wall Street’ actor has never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve, instead preferring a rotation of beautiful models and actresses over the past decade. The five-time Oscar nominee is a desirable candidate for the title having been recently awarded for his environmental efforts and appointed the U.N Messenger of Peace. Despite the possibility that he is forever in denial of his love for actress Kate Winslet and is continuing to sport a questionable beard, he could be the winner.
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But before Leo can redirect his fan mail to the customary bachelor pad, Mr. Bradley Cooper is hot on his tail at the post office. This Academy award nominee has been linked to a smorgasbord of A-list actresses and is hot property at the box office. Cooper is a non-drinker, non-smoker and looks forward to becoming a father one day – tick, tick, tick.
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Teenage heartthrob Zac Efron must surely live with a migraine every day for the lust his fans have for him is beyond words -and so they scream. This actor is linked to a different beauty each week and is surging through Hollywood with a string of movies under his belt. But the game-changer here people, is not his acting credits but his hair. The women love it, the men want it and that alone, means business.
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It seemed like it only yesterday, Tom Cruise was declaring his love for Katie Holmes on Oprah’s lounge but alas, it wasn’t to be and the high-profile actor is back on the market. Again. This smooth-talker is never out of the race and the ladies love him but something tells me to keep a couch handy cos he doesn’t stay single for long.
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Melbourne boy, Liam Hemsworth, got the world’s attention when he nabbed the role of Gale in mega successful franchise, The Hunger Games. Add on his Aussie good looks and well-publicized split from fiancé Miley Cyrus and you’ve got yourself a fresh faced bachelor. He may be relatively new to the spotlight of Hollywood but well worth a mention.
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I hate to even say the last one but his fan base speaks volumes: Justin Bieber. The pop-tastic young rebel has no plans to settle down for many years to come and something tells me, he may have tried to scratch his name on the plaque already. While he should be schooled in the art of Bachelor-ism by the other contenders, the Miranda Kerr/Orlando Bloom ‘incident’ proves he is, at least, willing to be in the race.
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BULLSHiT 